“God, break my heart for what breaks yours…”
One of the most difficult prayers
to say, to mean,
but that has been my prayer for a long time now, and boy, has He been answering.
A lot of the times it’s overwhelming, tiring, and hard to have my heart broken
over and over again. I often feel small, inadequate and unable to help in a
way. Yet, I am desperate. I am desperate to help, to make a difference, to
change things. I am living in a country filled with people, families, children,
that break my heart and yet I don’t feel adequate to help, despite feeling
desperate to do just that. I lay in bed wracking my brain for ideas, I get on
the computer and research things I could do, I pray for God to reveal why I’m
here. And than I read this quote...
"If through a broken heart God can bring His purpose to pass in the world than thank Him for breaking your heart." -Oswald Chambers
And than I listen these lyrics…
“I wanna set the world on fire until it’s burning bright for you. It’s everything that I desire, Can I be the one you use? I, I am small but You, You are big enough. I, I am week but You, You are strong enough. Take my dreams, come and give me wings. Lord with you, there’s nothing I cannot do, nothing I cannot do…” Britt Nicole Set The World On Fire
And I read these verses…
“I raised you up for this very purpose; that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” Romans 9:17
“How than can they call on the one they have no believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” Romans 10:14, 15
And I remember...just how big God is. I remember that God is in control. I remember that God made me for a purpose. I remember I am on this earth to tell others about His goodness, faithfulness, love, mercy and justice. I remember the biggest difference I can make for others is by presenting the gospel and loving them as Christ does. That is why I’m here. There may be something else God asks of me while I’m in Rwanda, but there also may not be. It has taken me over two months, but I think I have finally become content in just loving, knowing that that love is enough.
“I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances” Philippians 4:11
“God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in him. 1 John 5:16
“This is love: Not that we loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear Friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love in made complete. 1 John 4:10,,11
“This is love: to obey His commands. And His commands are not burdensome for everyone born of God overcomes the world!” 1 John 5:3,4
“The entire law is summed up in a single command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Galatians 5:14
INSERT TRANSITION HERE one day I'll be better at these:
Daily life happenings according to the few photos I’ve managed to snap...
I have fallen in love with a certain village
I am still amazed at the beauty of Rwanda
I still try to be a lady
I made a dessert from home.
Sometimes on the days that I'm really sad I have to bring out the good stuff.
And than there are some days that I just desperately want it to be Christmas time
The kids came back from boarding school!
We had an intense match of volleyball, never-mind the fact that we lost.
We also had a soccer match where I managed to fall 5X but that's OK because we won.
Today's this beauties birthday!
INSERT CONCLUSION normally I'm OK at these but I kind of want to go and play at the orphanage now so...